New Mama Tag

I got this idea from watching the new mum/mom tag videos on YouTube, which was created by the beautiful and inspirational Emily Norris, so without any further ado, let’s answer some questions.

1) Favourite Mum Hack?

This might not be too amazing but, I’d say teaching your child to perform basic clean up tasks as a game, has been my fave hack. Reuben loves wiping his high chair down and helping with the laundry for this reason.

2) Most Embarrassing Mum Moment?

I thought I could bottle feed in the nursing room in a shopping centre. I was wrong.

3) Favourite part of the day?

Going to get Reuben out of his cot after any nap/sleep. It’s lovely. Bathtime is a close second, that’s always a giggle.

4) Worst part of the day?

Cleaning up after mealtimes irritates me every single time.

5) Worst thing someone said to you when pregnant?

“you got pregnant so you didn’t have to work” and “just another useless mum on the dole” and also “you’re absolutely massive”. Yay.

6) A baby name you disagreed on?

Reuben. But, I got my way.

7) Do you co-sleep?

It’s only occasional now, when trying to get extra sleep in the morning, or when Reu is poorly.

However, when Reu was a newborn, I didn’t want to cosleep, but often, it was very necessary. There was many ways to make sure it’s safely done. I panicked about SIDS constantly but I found many tricks for making cosleeping as safe as possible.

8) Baby products you never used?

I didn’t really have everything I needed when I had Reuben, but I never used his newborn clothing. My 8lb 6oz baby was too long.

9) Name 3 hospital bag must haves?

Comfortable clothes, painkillers, pads.

10) Are you a go with the flow or routine mum?

I’m a bit of both. I have routines but I’m flexible about when they begin and when naps occur. I would love to be more a routine mum but I’m too lazy. Or laid back, rather. I am really lucky that my child has always been a good sleeper.

11) What labour and pain relief did you have?

I was induced, I had gas and air and an epidural. It was traumatic. I wouldn’t opt for another induction at all if I could help it. Future me: if it’s not 100% necessary, don’t do it.

12) Have you ever been mum shamed?

Yes. By a midwife in the hospital on the post natal ward for giving in and giving Reu formula. By a few people I know for quitting breastfeeding three weeks in. And recently, an old women decided to say I was a shit mother who didn’t care about my baby because I was using my phone on the bus, instead ot interacting with Reuben.

13) What have been the biggest challenges?

Healing from trauma /going through therapy, whilst being a single mother. Especially when I am studying. It’s so hard.

14) What is the best advice you’ve had or that you’ve given?

“You’ve got to take care of yourself too” and “don’t compare yourself to other mothers”. Also, if you can ask for help, or are offered it, take it. You need to take some of that pressure off yourself, Mama!

15) Who’s your mum crush?

Britneyandbaby and Louise Pentland are my ultimate role models on Youtube, but in real life, I have many mummy friends I look up to.

That was quite fun. I will tag fellow parent vloggers in my insta post!

Thank you for reading,

With love, Rebecca x

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This Time Last Year

I remember the way I felt this time last year. The way the air felt, the white noise of something mechanical humming at night (I still can’t figure out what it is), the way the lights across the city seemed crisper… It all reminds me, like the most wonderfully enchanting memory. There is no doubt in my mind that I’m remembering with rose-tinted glasses. But I know for a fact, also, that I remember that the person I was before Reuben was born felt a kind of excitement, naivety and apprehension that I’m scared I will never feel again.

The selfie I took before heading to the hospital to be induced.

I remember feeling dreadfully uncomfortable, completely DONE with being pregnant and massive. And moreover, I was done being told how massive I was. As if I couldn’t tell!? I was sick of the sickness, the acid reflux, the endless peeing, the pain I was feeling around my ribs, the ridiculous amounts of discharge and the sweating. You know, I was still trying my best to cherish my pregnancy but I think I spent more time trying to film baby kicks than I did actually appreciating the moments (something I will remember if I’m lucky enough to have a second). I would rest my hands on my bump, take endless photos, but by 37 weeks I was done. So when I was offered an induction days before my due date, I leapt at the chance.

I’d seen a lot of inductions on One Born Every Minute and I’d read the leaflet but nothing could have prepared me for the days that followed. I felt like I’d been in hospital for a week before I was actually induced – in a different hospital – on my due date.

But my mind seems to have fixated on the little details of the hospital I was supposed to give birth in, when I was waiting to be taken to delivery suite to have my waters broken. In all honesty, it was quite lovely but I was so impatient and being in a hospital bay all day waiting around was driving me a bit nuts. I wasn’t very well prepared, I hadn’t brought much to entertain myself – which is probably why I remember the space around me in vivid detail. From the way the light hit the blue flooring during the day, to the way the overhead lamp created a calming ambience at night. I remember bouncing on that big purple gym ball for hours hoping labour would come on spontaneously but I now realise, it was doing very little for me, and it was probably making me all the more impatient.

I was offered a transfer to the other hospital where I had a bed on delivery suite waiting for me on my due date, a few hours after my mucus plug went, and I jumped at the chance. I now wonder if my experience might have been different if I’d have stayed at the hospital that I wanted to give birth in. But nevermind, what good are what ifs? No good at all.

So there I was, in the delivery suite of this other hospital, taking a quick video of the room for my Instagram. I was telling people I’d no longer be replying. Although I did later on, at some point, I can’t remember when. And I had no idea what was coming as far as the syntocin drip was concerned.

I love that before they broke my waters and put me on that drip, I was blissfully unaware saying “whatever happens I’ll deal with it, as long as baby is okay”. I mean, that wasn’t a bad mindset to have but… Yeah… the girl on the ball in her nightie who just had her waters broken, and the girl on the bed who just got given the epidural were a couple of hours apart, and I can assure you the girl on the bed felt like she’s been through a kind of hell that she knew had changed her forever. The rest of it was a breeze though, if that’s any consolation – it was to me!

I gave birth to Reuben just over 12 hours after they’d broken my waters, and it was incredible. I felt the love instantly – it was euphoric! I felt the rush of love which I’d heard people say is indescribable and I was so relieved. I was so, so happy. When I had been waiting to push, I remember thinking “this is it, my dream is about to come true, I’m gonna meet my baby!” and that was an unforgettable moment too.

So is it any wonder that I feel this way now that Reuben’s 1st birthday is a day away? It’s so bittersweet. I feel happy and sad at the same time. I feel my heart aching so badly when I think back to it. I know this is common in mothers but I never really hear or read anyone talking about it.

Maybe it’s because I feel cheated out of enjoying those newborn days, maybe it’s because I had a vision of how I wanted things to be during pregnancy and it wasn’t like that. It’s not like my expectations were high but when you’re poor and feeling unsupported through both pregnancy and your newly made mother days, it’s very hard to feel like I got anything right at all back then… I don’t know. I guess I am overly critical but when I think back, I have regrets and I find myself saying “here’s what I’d do differently”.

Anyway, it’s hard to believe Reuben’s been on this earth for a year now. He’s turned into my little best friend & he makes me smile all the time. Even though we have been poorly recently, there’s still been smiles. And I’m far from perfect but I know I’m a good Mama.

I’m feeling very nostalgic and wistful about this time last year but don’t worry, I’m also concentrating on making this year’s memories count! Reuben’s presents are ready for Thursday, the flat is looking nicer than it ever has done (apart from the kitchen right now) & I’ve even put the Christmas tree up!

I love motherhood, it puts a kind of joy and resilience in my soul that nothing else can. I mean, there’s obviously sadness and mum guilt in there too BUT! Let’s focus on the good!

Thank you for reading,

With love, Rebecca ♡

Why Charity Shops Are Great!

The other day I wanted to take a whole bunch of stuff to the charity shop. I’m talking toys, games, dvds, books, blankets… I just wanted to get rid of it. So I loaded up the pram (that somehow did not break) and we had a little walk down the local charity shop to donate.

That, in itself, is a good thing. Not only will someone else get the use out of the things I was giving away, but they’d get them for peanuts.

And whilst I was waiting for the till to be freed up from paying customers, I stumbled upon an area dedicated to kids toys and clothes.

And I immediately saw something I was looking for! In fact, I saw two things I was about to pay at least £30 combined for on Amazon. And so I picked them up, in disbelief that they were so much cheaper than I was begrudgingly going to pay. And they only needed a good clean! So I had a browse and saw if there was anything else that Reuben would like.

I’d been hunting for a walker and a xylophone for Reuben for ages. Reuben is SO close to walking, and the xylophone? Well, that’s mainly for me (go on, sue me, I admitted it!) but I’m sure Reuben will love it too! I thought he’d really enjoy the toy cars too; he has one that’s a really infantile remote control cement mixer and loves it.

Imagine my surprise when all of these things together came to: £5.50!

£2 for the walker. £1.50 for the xylophone. 50p for each car. Bargain!

I am fond of wooden toys because I think they’re durable, look better that plastic ones most of the time, and of course they’re kinder to the planet.

But these finds got me thinking…

Three Reasons Why It’s Great Buying Second Hand!

#1 It saves you money! 💷

No need to explain this one, it is so much cheaper than buying new.

#2 It’s environmentally friendly! ♻

Recycling and upcycling. Donating and buying second-hand. They all mean things aren’t being thrown into landfill before their time. Having a baby really made me wake up and smell the cocoa when it comes to the condition of the planet. Its hard to ignore when you realise your baby is more likely to be affected by global warming than you are… And that terrifies me. Anyway, yeah, reusing and recycling things is very important.

#3 You are supporting charities by buying second-hand! ☺

Honestly, there are so many deserving charities out there for such fantastic causes. It’s awesome that you can save your pennies and help save the planet AND maybe even contribute to saving lives!

And speaking of reusing… I bought a massive bundle of second hand baby clothes in 12-18 months today. A wonderful woman on Facebook was selling this massive pile of clothes and within an hour, she had delivered them to me. She was so friendly too!

I couldn’t believe how much I got for what I paid! Reuben is completely kitted out for the next six months! They are all beautiful clothes I wouldn’t have been able to afford brand new, in excess, like this job lot was. I went through it today and everything is in fabulous condition and honestly there were more pants and tops and jackets in this pile than Reuben has had in his whole life. So for £30 plus a £5 delivery charge, I’ve saved myself so much money – some of these items will have cost at least £15-20 by themselves… And Reuben is gonna look so cool. 😎 Cooler than me!

Thank you for reading,

With love, Rebecca xo

‘Mom Standards’|Collab

Hello everyone,

For my first ever collab, I am joining up with Bex from raisingfletcherandeden!

Bex is a wonderful mother of two beautiful children, married to a lucky bloke named Jon and her photography is incredible too. We have been friends, and even penpals in the past, for years now. You should totally follow her blog!

We were discussing a relatable post when we realised that despite our different situations, we share the same struggles as mothers. Naturally, this was an awesome opportunity to collab!

Without any further ado, I’m going to let Bex take over my blog…


Hi everyone, it’s Bex here taking over Rebecca’s blog. I’m also a Rebecca too but more commonly known as Bex or “momeh” if you’re my cheeky two year old Eden. Anyway…

I recently came across an image on my Instagram feed, a quote actually, and it made me laugh a little, it was just so fitting and so true to me that I reposted it to my stories.

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Soon after, Rebecca messaged me and it turned out that it was also very fitting for her too and I wasn’t alone with my messy hair amongst other things, things that we both have in common since becoming mothers. We had a great chat about it and decided to get together and do a collab on the subject. We may both have different backgrounds but one thing we both share is motherhood and how it’s changed us and how we think about things.

Before I became a first time mom (to my now 3 year old Fletcher), my life was completely different, for instance, I had a full time job which I enjoyed. I was still living at home with my parents and once me and my other half got engaged he moved in and we agreed that we’d start saving to buy a house.

I thought nothing of going shopping on a weekend with my mom and easily blowing £100 maybe £200 on clothes and make up. Also, Primark, never heard of it!

Fast forward to my now 27 year old self and here I am lying in bed as I type this in my good old primark pyjamas and very comfy Bridget Jones pants, also from Primark (good old Primark). Did I mention the little stain on my pyjama top from my dinner that is definitely not going to come out but I don’t care because I’ve had worse stains ruin my clothes? Oh well, it’s only another stain to add to the collection. I’m not bothered at all, honestly.

I actually can’t complain because I had the luxury of putting make up on today and even dying my hair. Why is it as well on the very rare occasions you get to do your hair and make up, dig out your best bobbly Primark jumper and jeans from last year and you’re feeling great, you don’t bump into anybody you know? Step outside the door looking like you’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards with bags under your eyes so big they’ve now turned into shopping trolleys and you see absolutely bloody everyone, even people from school..oh em gee. It used to really bother me when I couldn’t do my hair and make up or feel comfortable in my clothes but not anymore. I’m not embarrassed by my mom appearance, it’s bloody tough! I’m just amazed if I can get everyone in the house fed, watered and clean before 9am, not including myself.

I love to shop at Next, H&M and small handmade clothing shops online for Fletcher and Eden. I just love buying them clothes and shoes and don’t get me wrong, there’s also a fair share from good old Primark in their wardrobe too and a few hand-me-downs from my friend. I think nothing of spending money on things they need or just because it’s cute. I’d happily spend my money on Fletcher and Eden, no matter what the cost and 9 times out of 10 it leaves very little left for me. When it does come to me though, no way am I paying more than £15 for a pair of jeans these days! Motherhood has turned me into a bit of a tightarse.

Being a mom means that you’re bottom of the pile, you come last because there’s always something popping up more important. You make do with what’s left at the end of everything and you know what?

I don’t care (maybe a bit).

Bex
X

I just want to say a big thank you to Rebecca for letting me collab with her and letting me lose writing this post. Keep up everything you’re doing, you’re doing a great job momma :o)