No Shadows.

IMG_20190110_221832_751I have been taking antidepressants for a little over two weeks now, and I’ve got to admit, it’s been a lot smoother sailing than it was last time. There are factors contributing to this that are undeniable – the fact that I have much better hold over my PTSD and anxiety symptoms, that my life is entirely different to how it was back in 2014, and that I have a far better understanding of what antidepressants do.

But it seems that not everyone understands.

And I am being even more secretive about taking them this time around too.

There are so many misconceptions about antidepressants and I’ve heard a lot of “don’t start taking them, they’re addictive!” or “you don’t need them, you just need to xyz”. But show very little understanding of mental health illness, let alone how antidepressants work.

I’d like to sit here and explain why there are misconceptions and why they are wrong, but that would be straying from the point of this post entirely. The point is that I have noticed a good shift in my mental health already with very minimal side effects, and have increased the quality of my day to day life. Why? Because the 25ml of Sertraline that I have been taking a day have boosted my serotonin levels just enough to balance me out.

Just to clarify, I’m not suddenly bouncing off the walls in constant joy and contentment. I still get sad, to put it plainly, but that’s where it ends. It’s not deafening, suffocating sadness. It’s not vague emptiness and wallowing. I just get sad. And suddenly, when I’m feeling happy, I actually feel happiness without the depression hovering over me. It’s often felt like a shadow in the corner of my eye, even on the happiest of days, and now? Well, I just don’t feel that.

I suppose the next question is; will I be on antidepressants forever?

I have no doubt that when I want to come off of antidepressants, that I will be able to. I’ve done it before, and it really wasn’t that bad. But if I do need to stay on them for a long time, then fair enough. Just like a condition in any other part of the body, if I require medication to function better, and live my life the best I can, then so be it.

Thank you for reading.

With love, Rebecca



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